My Social Battery, Summer Chaos, and a Cloud Nap Please

I came back to my lesson and Fruitloop was like, “Welcome back,” and I was like, yes, hello, I am alive. I missed meetings because last week I worked with my mother for a summer job, and I just forgot about our meeting. I accepted the job and didn’t really look at my schedule. The week before, I also forgot what happened. I don’t know. My brain was maybe on holiday before me.

Fruitloop started the topic: social balance. She explained it is the balance between being with friends and family, and also being alone. I said for me it depends. In summer I want to be with my friends and do activities. In winter I want Netflix, food, bed, cocooning, and please nobody disturb me.

Because school is finished, I have two weeks of an obligatory course. I didn’t know the English word. I said “stage,” but Fruitloop helped me with “course.” It is to get work experience and help us think about future studies and jobs. After that, I have village parties, friends, cleaning my room, a church summer camp where I am an animator for children from six to twelve, then Scout camp in the mountains for two weeks. I am really excited because Scouts are cool and full of people and activities.

We also talked about my exchange to the Canaries in October or November. I was accepted, so I am really excited. I think I will take my computer, or maybe use my phone, but I don’t know yet because I will go to school in Spain. So I will just message Fruitloop and say, “Can we meet tomorrow?” because my calendar is doing parkour.

Then Fruitloop asked how I feel after a long day with many people. I said it depends on the people. If I love them, it is okay. But sometimes after school I am so tired, especially in winter when it gets dark early. I go home and my parents ask, “What did you do today?” and I am like, I was at school. What do you think I did? Sometimes I just want to go to my bedroom, do homework for one or two hours, and sleep.

We talked about why it is hard to say no to social plans as a teenager. I said I don’t want to miss jokes, memories, references, and activities. Sometimes I go even when I don’t really want to see people, because I want to be there. But sometimes I say no because I’m tired, and sometimes because my mom says no. And yes, sometimes “my mom said no” is also a very useful excuse. Please. It works.

Fruitloop said she and her sister also used that excuse, and I understood because if someone always says no, friends stop inviting them. But sometimes there are other reasons, like money. I explained that if I can’t pay for eating out, I can join later after dinner, because I don’t want to watch people eat when I can’t. That is not fun. That is just suffering with a menu.

When I spend too much time alone, I also get tired. During holidays, if I do nothing for one whole day, I can feel more tired than if I had done something useful with friends. So my social balance is not healthy when I have too much of one thing. Too many people makes me want a nap and a series. Too much alone time makes me want to escape my house.

Technology makes it more complicated. Now I text my friends all day. If I don’t want to speak, I don’t reply. If I want to speak, I send a video or a voice message. Before, people wrote letters and had to wait to meet. My mom always asks what we will speak about when we meet if we already send photos and videos all weekend. I don’t know, Mom. We just speak. Also, sometimes I mix French, German, English, and soon Spanish, and Fruitloop has to remind me what English sounds like.

I said I need more social time because when I was a child, I was alone a lot. I have two brothers, but they were not always in my house because we only have the same father. My parents were older than my friends’ parents, and their friends didn’t really have children my age. So now I like being with friends, speaking, sharing moments, and being with people my age.

But I also need space. During school it is easier because after school I go home and I am away from friends. During holidays, I need some days or nights where I do nothing: just me, my computer, my series, painting, and my activities. Alone time is important, but not too much.

Fruitloop asked if someone can be happy with very little social contact. I said it depends on the person. Like the Grinch. He likes being alone with his dog, but he is also in a bad mood, so maybe not perfect. I think being alone is okay if you accept it, but it is important to keep some contact, even with family, to share jokes and little moments.

We also talked about loneliness being more dangerous than social overload. I think loneliness can be more dangerous because some people take comfort in bad things, like drugs, to feel happy. Social overload can make you tired, but at least you still have people to talk to. It is easier to choose to be alone than to find people when you have nobody.

Then we talked about introverts and extroverts. I said extroverts are more used to talking to people and making social relationships. Introverts maybe prefer one, two, or three people maximum, and they are more used to being alone. Fruitloop explained that extroverts get energy from people, while introverts use energy to be with people. So balance depends on your personality.

Then came the question: can social media replace real human connection? No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely no. I have friends I almost never text, maybe only send a TikTok to say, “Hey, you’re my friend, I love you,” but when I see them, it is like we were always friends. Real connection is face-to-face. It is like a love story. If you only text your partner, that is not real life. You need to know the person in real life, with their personality and their weird little habits.

Fruitloop asked how friends and family can respect someone’s need for space. I said if someone says, “I want to be alone,” people should respect it and let them recharge. But in a big family, it is hard. If I am at my grandmother’s house and say, “I need space,” they might say, “You see us one time in the year and now you are tired of us?” So it is easier to say, “Can I take a nap?” because people understand naps. In my family, after meals, people already sleep in the living room, so nap is a very official excuse.

Then Fruitloop asked fruitloopy questions. If my social life was a battery, it would drain very slowly around people, because I really like people. If I had to speak non-stop for 24 hours or be silent for 24 hours, I would speak. Obviously. I would ask questions, learn about people’s lives, make bad jokes, and probably tell the penguin joke again because it is a good bad joke.

If alone time was a place, it would look like clouds. Soft clouds, music, bed, and nap energy. I said I might take a nap after the lesson, but actually no, I was just saying that. I had to see my brother because my mother was organizing a village party, and the men were helping put up the circus tent. I asked if I could help, and my mom said no, Sarah, this is men’s work, you have to cook. So apparently we are back in the eighteenth century. But also the tent is heavy, so fine, let the tall brothers do it.

If my friends followed me everywhere for one week, I would be so annoyed. Not hungry. Angry. Annoyed. I promise I don’t want to hit them, but please, I need space. Then I showed Fruitloop my ceramic decoration, and she said it was really pretty. I am proud of it, but she was right that I should not put it somewhere dangerous because if it falls, it will break.

If I had a social limit button, I would press it on Friday night. After finishing all my homework, I would put my battery on charge and go sleep in a cloud. By Saturday I should be recharged because I like weekends. Or maybe Monday. No, Saturday. I like doing things.

If being social was a sport, I would win. Scouts trained me for this. Scouts teach you to accept people and speak with everyone. You can go to someone and say, “Hello, my name is Sarah, do you want to be my friend, can you speak about your life?” and I am sure they will answer. Scouts are really cool for that.

At the end, Fruitloop asked what I was cooking for dinner. I said a traditional Alsatian meal, baeckeoffe, with potatoes, ham, vegetables, sausage, and everything cooked in a special pottery dish with traditional designs. It keeps the meal warm, and we have a lot of those dishes at home. I said I would send a photo because it is very traditional and very Alsace.

Then the lesson ended. Fruitloop told me good luck with cooking, and we said see you tomorrow. So that was my social balance meeting: friends, naps, clouds, Scouts, excuses, circus tents, and potatoes. That’s all.