Monday morning, 8th of June, just after eight o’clock, and in the north the sky was grey. Not a little bit grey. Proper grey. The sort of grey where you think, yes, some sunshine would be nice now. The Mayor had some sunshine where he was, and he said he would put a little bit in a box and send it to me. I said yes, a little bit, please.

This is how a good Monday can start. Grey outside, coffee inside, and somebody somewhere ready to send you sunshine in a box.

Also, there was the important matter of the sardines. Someone had sent me ten tins of sardines. Very good sardines. Good for my heart. At first I said four were left, then I corrected myself. No, no, six. I had eaten four. Six were still there. The Mayor already made a system in his head, of course. When I open tin number seven, then a message must go to Janita, and Janita must pass on that Ralf needs more sardines. These are the things they do in Brida. Very technical. Very emotional. Very good.

I was feeling balanced that morning. I had made coffee for my wife, like I do. That is one of the good things in my day. I stand up, I make coffee, and then the day has already a little bit of order. We were also waiting for a new dishwasher, and this made me happy. A dishwasher is not only a machine. A dishwasher is peace in the kitchen. It is less chaos, less washing, more time for the nice things. I had my first pot of coffee already, and during the morning I was drinking the second pot. So, yes, I was good.

The day was full, but not stressful. In the first half of the day, the people came with the dishwasher. In the second half of the day, I hoped the electrician would come for the last time to finish the photovoltaic system. That system had been sitting on our roof for weeks already. The panels were there. The material was there. The batteries and all the electric parts were there. Twenty-two thousand euros of material, but no electricity coming from the sky yet.

For me, this was not real stress. It was more a little waiting game. The sun was not shining anyway, so I could laugh about it. But of course, when you pay for a photovoltaic system, you want also photovoltaic electricity, not just a decoration on the roof.

The people who put the panels on the roof were fantastic. They were fast, clean, easy. One panel had been damaged during transport, and they saw it and said this one must be changed. No drama. They even helped on the neighbour’s roof. They saw a broken roof tile near a window and repaired it. I thought, hey, this is good work. This is how it must be.

Then came the electrical part.

The electrician was a big man. Very big. I said he was like a walrus. Not because I want to be unkind, but because when he came into the house and had to go to the first floor, you could see this alone was already a project. He came with another man to help him. On the first day they put the batteries and electric parts on the first floor and on the wall. Then they said they would come next week at nine o’clock.

They came at twelve.

Then first the toilet. Thirty minutes.

Then lunch break. One hour.

Then later they said they must drive somewhere else for another repair, and after that they could come back in the evening and work until ten pm. I said no. We had a restaurant reservation. I would not sit in my house all evening because their planning was bad. That is not my problem.

The funny thing is, I did not explode. I had a good contact person who asked me if everything was finished. I said no, it was not finished. He called me, and I told him it was crazy. They said the work would take one day, and now we were already at the third day. He cared about it. That helped me. Good after-service can rescue a situation. Bad work is bad work, but when somebody listens, then I can stay calm.

Also, the system was not running, so they had no money from me. This is simple. No problem. No money. When it works, then we talk. Maybe I will ask for a discount, because when the work is not done properly, there must be a little present for me also. This is fair.

But my balance is not always so calm. There are moments when I can explode, and most of these moments happen on German roads.

One time, long ago, I was driving in East Friesland on the A30. One side of the road was closed, and they were repairing it, so the traffic had to use one lane. I was driving correctly, and cars were coming towards me from the other side. The other side had to stop. Then suddenly a big bus came from the right side onto the highway and did not stop. He came straight at me.

I had to make an emergency brake. I had to move a little to the left, into the area where the other traffic was coming. The man coming towards me also had to make an emergency brake. It was not only uncomfortable. It was dangerous.

Then I exploded.

I drove after the bus. I used my horn. I flashed my lights. At the next parking place, he drove out, and I drove out too. I got out of the car and went to him. I was so angry. I shouted at him. He said it was not a crazy situation.

Not a crazy situation?

I said, what? You did not stop. You came onto the highway. I had to go to the other side of the road, and the people coming towards me had to brake too. And this is not a crazy situation?

There are moments where you must really pull yourself together, because the volcano is already open. Driving in Germany can do this to me. There are so many, excuse me, idiots on the street. Too many people, too little space, too much speed, too little respect. On the road, emotional balance is sometimes not a theory. It is survival.

But in normal life, I try to avoid stress before it starts. I do not like “just in time.” I do not like arriving at the last minute. When we go on holiday and we must take a plane, we drive one day before to a hotel near the airport. We sleep there. The car stays at the hotel. In the morning we take a taxi to the airport. Everything is calm. No panic, no traffic stress, no running through the airport like a chicken without head.

When I have a meeting somewhere, I like to be early. Not five minutes early. Sometimes one hour, sometimes one and a half hours. I park my car. I go to a bakery. I eat something small, drink coffee, and I relax. Or I sit in my car, put the alarm on my mobile phone, and sleep a little. A catnap. Very good system.

Some people want to put as much as possible in one day. They want to squeeze the day until it screams. I am not like that anymore. If I must be somewhere at twelve, I prefer to be there at eleven or eleven-thirty. Then I have time. I arrive in a good condition. I am not angry before the meeting even starts.

Maybe this is why Sardinia was first a little bit difficult for me. In the army, when they said six o’clock, they meant six o’clock. Time was time. I was stationed there, and we had pilots and technicians and aircraft and time slots. If the airplane had to leave at six in the evening, we had to be there at four, because there were two hours to prepare everything. In Germany, that means precision.

The Italians had another rhythm. They could go to an airplane, start the machine, and fly away. For me, at first, this was not easy to understand. But there were things I loved very much. We went to the Italian canteen because the food was much better than the German kitchen. Sometimes the food was not really hot, more lukewarm, but we liked it.

Our captain said, in Germany we do not drink alcohol when we are on the airplane. But the Italians drank a little wine with the meal. So he made a rule. Three people could share one bottle of wine. Not more. That was okay.

And it was fantastic. You eat noodles with a little Parmesan on top, then some meat, and you drink a little wine. Simple. Warm. Human. The bottle system was also wonderful. You took an empty or half-empty bottle from another table, brought it to the counter, and said, make it full. The bottles were not always clean outside. Maybe a little soup, maybe something else. But it was no problem. It worked.

I liked the idea behind it. Every farmer brings grapes to a place, they make wine, and the farmer gets some back. A little for him, a little for selling. A good system. Practical, social, and with wine. Many good systems have these three things.

Food is one of the ways I keep balance. If I drive somewhere for work, I know where I can stop and eat something good. When I drive towards Hamburg, there is a place where I like to eat calf liver on salad. I know not everybody likes liver. The Mayor does not like it so much. But for me it is nice. If I have a good stop, good food, a coffee, then I arrive relaxed. Then I can do what I must do, and later I drive home relaxed too.

This week looks calm. I have some visits planned, but nothing that should destroy my balance. I would drive to people, introduce myself, say here I am, and if you need support, training, or joint visits, you can call me. Often people say, yes, we already have someone, but we know you are there, and when we need something, we call. That is okay. Not every door opens immediately. Sometimes you just put your name in the room.

And then there are the hedgehogs.

The hedgehogs in our garden are a little bit crazy. We have one big hedgehog who has his own system. He goes first to one feeding station and eats only the special little things he likes. Then he goes to the next station and eats there. Then he goes around the house to the third station. Very organized. Very hungry. Maybe he is a German hedgehog.

At night, sometimes, the hedgehogs are also busy with other activities. A little bit mating. They make noise. Very loud noise. The first time we heard it, we did not know what it was. We went outside with a lamp, and there they were. Two hedgehogs.

I think we disturbed them. Poor hedgehogs. It was not so good for the hedgehogs. But also, they live in our garden, so sometimes we see things. Life is life.

Over the weekend, I cooked for a nice girl who had a birthday. We made barbecue, and I prepared something from East Germany called Rostbrätel. The recipe is at the bottom of this article. Easy to make. Great to eat.

For me, emotional balance is not sitting still like a stone. It is more like preparing the day so it does not bite you. Coffee for my wife. Enough time before driving. A good bakery when I am early. A catnap in the car. Good food on the road. A salesman who calls when something goes wrong. No money before the photovoltaic system works. And when the hedgehogs make loud noises in the night, maybe leave them alone.

The Mayor said I was maybe a role model for balance. I do not know about that. I can still explode when a bus nearly pushes me into oncoming traffic. I can still become angry when people do not respect time. But I learned a few things.

Take your time.

Eat well.

Drink coffee.

Do not arrive too late.

Do not pay before the machine works.

And do not disturb the hedgehogs when they are having fun.

Ralf’s Rostbrätel Feast with Adana Kebabs and Parmesan Potatoes

This is not only a meal. This is a feast. You have pork neck with mustard, onions, and dark beer. You have Adana kebab skewers. You have crispy Parmesan potatoes from the oven. There is smoke from the grill, good smell, good people, and if everything goes well, everybody is happy.

1. Rostbrätel — Pork Collar Steaks with Mustard, Onions, and Dark Beer

Ingredients

• 1–2 kg pork neck, cut into steaks
• The same weight of onions as meat
  For example: 1 kg pork neck = 1 kg onions
• Salt
• Pepper
• Mustard
• Dark beer, preferably East German-style dark beer
• A large box or container with a lid

Method

Cut the pork neck into steaks.

Season the meat on both sides with salt and pepper.

Spread mustard over the meat. Do not be shy. The mustard is important for the flavour.

Peel and slice the onions.

Put the meat and onions into a box in layers:

onions, meat, onions, meat, onions, meat.

Pour the dark beer over the meat and onions.

Close the box and put it in the refrigerator for two days.

After two days, take the meat out of the marinade. Remove the onions and let the liquid drip off a little.

Put the pork neck steaks on a hot grill.

Grill until the meat is nicely cooked, smoky, and browned on the outside.

The beer and onion marinade makes the meat tender, soft, and full of flavour. The smell is fantastic.

2. Adana Kebab Skewers

Ingredients

• Minced meat suitable for Adana kebab, preferably from a Turkish supermarket
• Adana kebab seasoning or prepared Adana-style meat mixture
• Skewers
• An Adana kebab press or kebab maker, if you have one

Method

Go to a Turkish supermarket and buy the meat there. For this recipe, the meat is better than normal minced beef from a regular supermarket.

Put a little meat into the Adana kebab maker.

Place the skewer inside.

Add more meat on top.

Press everything together so the meat forms properly around the skewer.

Put the skewers on the grill and cook until browned and done.

Very practical. Very good.

3. Crispy Parmesan Potatoes

Ingredients

• Small potatoes, the little ones called Drillinge in Germany
• Olive oil spray
• Panko breadcrumbs
• Garlic
• Cayenne pepper
• Salt
• Parmesan cheese

Method

Heat the oven to 220°C with convection.

Put baking paper on a baking tray.

Spray a little olive oil onto the baking paper. Not too much, only a little.

Sprinkle panko breadcrumbs over the baking paper.

Add garlic, a little cayenne pepper, salt, and Parmesan cheese.

Wash the small potatoes and dry them.

Cut the potatoes in half. Do not peel them.

Place the potatoes cut-side down onto the panko and Parmesan mixture.

Bake for about 20 minutes at 220°C.

When the potatoes come out, the underside has a beautiful crispy crust of panko and Parmesan. It sticks to the potato and makes it soft inside, crispy outside, and fantastic.

To Serve

Serve the Rostbrätel straight from the grill with the Adana kebab skewers and the crispy Parmesan potatoes.

This is a good birthday meal, a good barbecue meal, and a good meal for people who like proper food.

You have mustard, onions, dark beer, smoke, grilled meat, crispy potatoes, and happy people.

That is balance too.