Something I Cannot Regret

At 65, I am not sure that I will become a good dancer. But after spending a great deal of time alone, ballroom dancing has brought new people, movement and fun into my life.

By Ismar

My sixty-fifth birthday contained two surprises.

At lunchtime, I went to a restaurant with my mother, my aunt and my cousin. The restaurant gave me a free meal because it was my birthday.

That evening, I met eight people who had studied with me in middle school fifty years ago. The second restaurant also gave me a free meal.

Two free meals on the same birthday. I did not know restaurants did this.

Sixty-five years is a long time, isn’t it?

Soon afterwards, I met the Mayor for our usual conversation. We were expecting Ritesh, but he did not arrive, and the planned meeting required two members. The Mayor therefore had to improvise.

He asked me what was happening in Brazil.

This was not a difficult subject for me. I like discussing national problems. We spoke about elections, political parties, public services, transport, education and the cost of living. These are subjects I think about frequently, although I do not find many people around me who want to discuss them. Sometimes it is difficult even with people from my political party.

Then the Mayor said, “On a more positive note, how is your ballroom dancing going?”

The direction of the conversation changed completely.

The Best Thing I Have Started

I told him that ballroom dancing is probably the best thing I have started in the last five years.

I was very alone. I like having some time alone, and I am comfortable with my own company, but there is a difference between choosing solitude and having too much of it.

Since I began dancing, I have met good and interesting people. They want to learn how to dance. They want to go out and talk.

I have not met anyone there who is exactly in the same tune as me concerning social questions. We do not discuss national problems, world problems or politics.

But the people are there to have fun.

I think that is great.

Sometimes conversation does not need to solve the problems of Brazil. Sometimes people can simply meet, listen to music and try to move in the same direction.

I go once or twice a week. We practise local rhythms such as chamamé, vaneira and forró, as well as samba. The teacher also wants to create a group for bachata, which seems similar to salsa, although I do not know exactly how to differentiate them.

I am still learning.

Finding the Rhythm

I do not agree with the idea that everything is more difficult for older people than it is for younger people. I do not sign below that statement.

But some things may be a little harder to learn, and dancing may be one of them.

You need coordination. You need to understand something about music and recognise its rhythm. I did not have a musical education, so sometimes I feel a little lost. I hear the music, but I am not always sure how my body should answer it.

The Mayor told me that he had taken several dance lessons but had never been very successful. He thought it might have been a question of having the right partner, among other issues.

It was, he said, not a good subject.

I understand him. Dancing can make a person very aware of what the body does not know how to do.

I told him that becoming a good dancer would be a surprise for me because I do not think I am naturally good at it.

But I have fun.

That is the important part.

She Goes There

I recently heard about people around eighty years old who go out dancing five or six times a week.

I found this incredible. Before entering this world, I did not know that people of that age were dancing so frequently.

There is also a lady who is eighty-nine. She does not dance well, but she goes there.

The Mayor said that dancing well was not the important thing. She leaves her home. She meets people. She is surrounded by a positive atmosphere. She has some exercise and probably laughs a great deal.

Her mind is good. She talks well. She is a very nice lady.

My mother could not do the same because she has restrictions in her movement and cannot move quickly. But seeing this eighty-nine-year-old woman still arriving at the dance gives me another picture of what old age can look like.

She does not need to be the best person in the room.

She goes there.

Perhaps many activities become possible when we stop demanding that we must already be good at them.

I am sixty-five. I am learning movements that do not come naturally to me. Sometimes I lose the rhythm. Sometimes my coordination is not good. I may never become the dancer I would like to be.

If I become a good dancer, it will be a good surprise.

But I already have fun.

Until now, it is something I cannot regret.