When Values Collide: A Cross-Continental Conversation on Work, Family, and Finding “Me Time”

On a gray, rainy afternoon in Germany and a sweltering 35-degree afternoon in South Africa, two women log onto their weekly session. One has a heavy workload and a sick colleague. The other has birthday party planning, a messy kitchen, and a laptop that didn’t even get switched on yesterday.

Welcome to the real-life balancing act of Babette and Fruitloop—two working moms navigating loyalty, love, responsibility, and the eternal question: Can I please just have five minutes to myself?

Deadlines, Sick Colleagues, and Silent Managers

Babette’s week begins with pressure. Her colleague is ill. Orders are piling up. Her manager hasn’t responded. And Friday—the day she works alone—is fast approaching.

“I start earlier when I work from home,” she explains. “At seven, not eight. But today I think I will finish one hour later.”

Working from home should mean flexibility. Instead, it often means stretching the day at both ends. In the office, there’s a bit of chit-chat with her colleague Patricia. At home? Just silence—and more responsibility.

Meanwhile, Janita nods in understanding. She works from home too, but without fixed hours. Some days she starts at 8:00. Other days at 10:00. Sometimes she works until midnight.

“I didn’t even switch on my laptop yesterday,” she confesses. Between shopping for her son’s birthday sweets, coffee with a friend, a playdate, homework, and dinner, work simply didn’t happen.

“And last night I felt so guilty,” she says. “But sometimes we need that break.”

Guilt: the unofficial third parent in many households.

Carnival Costumes and €139 Baskets

Not all stress is work-related. Babette is also facing an upcoming carnival parade. Her daughter is excited. The rest of the family? Not so much.

“I hate carnival and Halloween,” she admits. “The costumes… no.”

She doesn’t want to dress up. She doesn’t want the fuss. But she shows up—because that’s what moms do.

Then there’s the basket. A beautiful, color-customizable shopping basket with interchangeable handles. Price? €139.

Her husband’s practical response: “Is there something inside the basket?”

It’s insulated. It keeps ice cream frozen. It’s perfect for picnics. It’s stylish. It’s… expensive.

“As a birthday present is better,” Babette decides wisely.

Practicality meets desire. Another collision of values: enjoyment versus responsibility.

So… What Are Values, Anyway?

At the heart of their conversation lies a deceptively simple question: What are values?

Janita explains gently. Values are the principles that make you who you are—loyalty, honesty, teamwork, kindness, love, responsibility, courage, self-discipline, fun.

Babette listens thoughtfully.

Sometimes honesty means telling the truth.
Sometimes it means telling a “white lie” to keep a birthday surprise.

Sometimes loyalty means staying committed to your job.
Sometimes it means choosing your family.

And sometimes, these values don’t sit peacefully together. They clash.

Love vs. Responsibility

When asked what wins if love and responsibility fight, Babette answers without hesitation:

“Love.”

But real life isn’t that simple.

In the morning, her daughter asks for help with curls in her hair. Babette has to open her laptop. Work cannot wait.

“Mom, please come,” her daughter reminds her 10, 15, 20 minutes later.

Sound familiar?

Janita smiles knowingly. “My son says, ‘You said ten minutes ago!’”

Here lies the modern parenting dilemma:
You love your children fiercely.
You are responsible for your job.
You need boundaries.
You also feel guilty.

It’s not a lack of love. It’s life.

The Missing “Me Time”

Perhaps the most honest moment comes quietly.

“I don’t take time for me,” Babette admits.

She struggles with organizing priorities at home. At work, she knows exactly what comes first. At home? Laundry calls. The kitchen needs cleaning. Someone is hungry. Someone needs homework help.

She starts one task and moves to another. “Sometimes it is chaotic,” she says.

Janita understands. Distractions multiply at home. Without clear limits, work spills into evenings, and personal time disappears entirely.

Babette’s friend offers simple advice: say it out loud.
“Now I need a break.”

Simple words. Hard to implement.

Honesty vs. Empathy

What about telling someone, “Everything will be okay,” when you’re not sure it will?

Is that kindness—or dishonesty?

The women conclude that experience matters. If you’ve been through loss, hardship, or uncertainty, you can speak from truth—not empty comfort. Empathy doesn’t have to cancel honesty. It can be softened by shared experience.

Another value collision resolved—at least for today.

Teamwork at the Dinner Table

In a playful final question, Janita asks: If all your values had a fight at dinner, which one would win?

Love? Loyalty? Honesty? Patience?

Babette thinks.

“Teamwork,” she decides.

It’s a beautiful answer.

Because maybe the goal isn’t choosing one value over another. Maybe it’s getting them to sit at the same table and cooperate.

From Germany to South Africa: Same Struggles, Different Weather

Outside Babette’s window: 9 degrees, rain, gray skies.
Outside Janita’s: blazing heat and dying grass.

Different climates. Same chaos.

Both women juggle work and family. Both feel guilt. Both love fiercely. Both need space. Both sometimes lose patience. Both show up anyway.

And perhaps that’s the real takeaway.

Values don’t stop colliding. Love and responsibility will always wrestle. Honesty and empathy will sometimes blur. Work and family will compete for attention.

But with awareness—and maybe a €139 birthday basket—balance becomes possible.

And maybe, just maybe, next week there will be a little more “me time.”