Lunch with Janita & Frank: Values, Wi-Fi, Washing Machines, and the Weather Forecast of a Fight
Good evening began with a tiny identity crisis.
“Hi, Janita.”
“Good evening, Natalie. Whoops.”
And then, like a curtain lifting on a familiar stage: “Hello, Mr. Mayor.”
It had that Lunch feeling instantly—warm, slightly chaotic, affectionate, and already laughing at itself .
Today’s table had four seats filled: Nathalie (South Korea), Rosii (Brazil), Fruitloop (South Africa), and the Mayor (France). Bruce was “somewhere,” Monica was “off the planet,” and the Wi-Fi—well, the Wi-Fi had a personality of its own, and it was in a mood.
The Mayor asked early on for “a couple of more inappropriate sentences like you did yesterday,” and the Fruitloop’s answer landed like a mischievous disclaimer for the entire meeting:
“I don’t know. It depends on the situation.”
Which, to be fair, could be the official motto of this group.
Rosii enters, the compliments begin, and “don’t blame me if Fruitloop goes loopy”
Rosii arrived mid-flow, greeted with “Good morning” (because time zones do funny things to the soul), and promptly received a fashion review.
“Natalie, I like your… your top. It’s happy. Colorful.”
Then the Mayor delivered his two announcements like someone reading a weather bulletin with a grin:
- Yesterday’s meeting with Martin and Manfred in Germany revealed a “side of Fruitloop” that surprised him—“refreshingly fantastic,” slightly rude, good fun—but also unpredictable. He could no longer guarantee Fruitloop’s “outbursts and spontaneous comments.”
- Fruitloop’s internet had been terrible all week. Certain words were apparently banned (“I’m not allowed to use certain words”), because the Wi-Fi was “very sensitive” and “does not like being spoken.”
Fruitloop described her relationship with her Wi-Fi as “not good.”
Someone added: “Poor.”
And then, with the resigned solidarity of adults battling modern life: “Unfortunately. But you are not the only ones. Me too.”
So yes—Fruitloop might fall off the planet mid-meeting. But honestly, that’s part of the charm.
The Theme: Values in relationships (and how they behave in real kitchens, real villages, and real supermarkets)
Fruitloop opened with the core question:
Why is it important for people in relationships to share similar values? Can a relationship work without value alignment?
Nathalie started gently: most humans, she felt, share broadly “good values,” so relationships are often possible. She made a key distinction: values are different from ideas. People can disagree on ideas and still learn from one another; values feel deeper and sometimes create true incompatibility.
The Mayor agreed with her logic—and then immediately flipped the table (metaphorically) by introducing his favorite ingredient: messy reality.
“English. Not British. Very different.”
He explained that it’s easy to believe values are “approximately the same” when your lived experience supports it.
He pointed out that:
- Nathalie is married to a Frenchman.
- Janita is married to a South African.
- Rosii has been in relationships with Brazilians.
Then he laid out his own cultural cocktail:
- First wife: Irish nationality.
- Mary: English (and do not call her British, unless you want to meet a rolling pin).
From there, he gave a surprisingly heartfelt mini-lesson in identity:
The official political name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, but it’s a union of four countries: England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland—with different histories and cultures. He described English ethnic roots (Normans and Vikings) and contrasted them with Scots, Welsh, and Irish “Kelts,” then added the practical proof:
“Scottish men run around in kilts… you would never find an Englishman doing that.”
And he avoided Northern Ireland’s politics with the careful phrase: “very explosive still.”
The microcosm house: washing machine wars (where values go to die)
Then came the real heart of his argument: talking about values is one thing. Living them is another.
His household, in Alsace (a region with its own layered identity due to history), contains:
- an English woman (61),
- a German national (64) who “does not know what it is to be German”,
- the German mother (88),
- and the whole house planted in France—but not quite “French,” because Alsace carries its own cultural weight.
And in this house… wars begin over the washing machine.
His mother wants to “reserve the washing machine for Friday mornings.”
Mary, in her English mindset (and in friction with the mother-in-law), finds the whole concept unacceptable.
The Mayor becomes the bridge, forced to declare peace treaties like:
“Okay, right. This is it.”
It gets worse when the mother accidentally uses the machine on Thursday instead of Friday.
“This is life in this house.”
Seebach: a village divided by religion (even now)
Then came another example: Seebach, a village of 1700 people where North is Protestant and South is Catholic—and until 40–50 years ago, the two halves did not mix. Even now, “to a certain” degree, social separation remains.
And when someone (Pascal) tries to build a small supermarket in the middle of the football field, the village experiences what can only be described as a polite civil war: “the war of the supermarket.” He still builds it, but the discussions are intense.
Nathalie responded with an important correction: maybe it’s not always values; sometimes it’s habits, views, personality. Character matters.
The Mayor landed the point softly:
“One thing I’ve learned… talking about values is one thing. Living them day-to-day is another.”
Timekeeping: the value that makes phones ring
He shared a story from 15 years ago: in France, arriving 15 minutes late to dinner is normal. But they were two minutes late to a German invitation, and the host phoned: “Where are you?”
Punctuality, respect for time—that became a value in his mind.
And Mary’s timekeeping, already “notoriously bad,” got worse after an accident because everything takes longer. The Mayor “goes ballistic inside” because punctuality matters deeply to him.
Rosii agreed she understood the cultural mixing. She noted Brazil itself is vast and layered: Portuguese influence, native roots, and strong regional differences—Manaus versus São Paulo versus Curitiba versus Rio Grande—different mentalities far apart.
Values aren’t only romance: kitchens, roommates, and loyalty “on the side”
Janita broadened the idea: values aren’t only loyalty or religion. They can be cleanliness, order, tidy versus not tidy, the daily friction that wears people down. She also mentioned relationships where one partner isn’t loyal—girlfriends or boyfriends “on the side”—and how misaligned values can end things even when everything else matches.
Nathalie added a current example straight from Clea’s life: she shares a kitchen with four girls. One is “very very dirty,” doesn’t wash, leaves everything messy—“terrible.” Clea comes from South Korea where people are often quiet, respectful, careful about others. In Scotland, Nathalie observed people can be louder—strong voices, strong laughter—and Clea’s housemates are not respectful about noise at night or cleaning for others.
So yes: values collide, but so do personalities.
And the group made another key point: this doesn’t have to be marriage. It can be friendship.
Respecting different values while staying true to your own beliefs
Fruitloop moved to the next question:
How can people respect different values while still staying true to their own beliefs?
Rosii shared a workplace example: a colleague who can be very rude, refusing to help in front of everyone—“No, I don’t help you. I will do mine.” Thirty people watching. Awkward. Painful.
She tries to understand him, respect him, but wonders why he’s so nervous, so sharp. She explained the daily reality: you work together eight hours; you have opinions, but sometimes you keep them to yourself to maintain balance.
She recalled a sentence she’d read: observe the person, but don’t “shoot” the person—meaning: observe, don’t judge.
The Mayor connected her story to an older one Fruitloop had told: someone refused to help because “if I do it, then everybody will come and ask me.” And he added Ritesh in Bangalore, who helped one friend with government forms and then ended up doing it for the whole neighborhood.
The question underneath the question became: Are we judging too quickly? Sometimes the behavior has a reason.
Fruitloop pointed out the key difference: it’s fine to say no politely. But saying “No, I’m not going to help you” rudely hits a different nerve. Values show up not only in what you do, but how you do it.
Rosii added that we can choose our response: match their vibe, or respond with extra politeness—sometimes that contrast speaks louder than a fight.
Liberty, equality, fraternity… and a helpful (slightly grumpy) French office
The Mayor brought in France’s national motto—Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité—as a cultural value system that’s visible everywhere. He described a recent moment renewing supplementary health insurance: he asked for help filling a form (after two and a half years of form trauma), and the official helped. Not happily—bad day—but it got done.
Humans aren’t perfect, but values can still be a national atmosphere.
When values become interference: the EU abroad, LGBTQ+, and freedom of speech
Nathalie then moved into a larger geopolitical example: the European Union as a delegation/embassy presence, building economic and political ties—but also, in her view, sometimes imposing European values in countries not ready to accept them.
She gave a specific example: promotion of LGBTQ+ messaging, t-shirts, exhibitions, big demonstrations—even in Muslim countries or places where cultural readiness is different. To her, it felt like interference, a confrontation between “European values” and “African values” (or Muslim, or other value systems).
The Mayor agreed the surface can be confrontational, and then offered a parallel conflict: freedom of speech between the EU and the US—where some US voices argue for absolute free speech on platforms, while Europe emphasizes dignity, limits, and bans on certain messages.
He framed it as history and power:
- Europe has a long internal history of conflict and learned caution.
- The US pushes responsibility onto the individual.
- The EU has economic muscle as a major trading bloc, so it can impose standards.
Then—classic Lunch table—he brought it back to something practical and oddly specific: Fruitloop wants to start “selling tails.” (He promised it sounded worse than it is. She joked: “I’m going to start selling tails.”)
Fruitloop wants a small website. The Mayor hosts it in the EU. That means EU rules and compliance. Fruitloop also doesn’t want to disclose her private address for security reasons in South Africa. So they have to combine Fruitloop’s values (privacy, safety) with EU transparency requirements and “find the loophole” legally.
Which led to the group’s quiet conclusion:
The trick is compromise.
Marriage, friendship, community—none of it is perfect. People either talk, understand, and adjust… or they eventually part ways.
And then the Mayor did a tiny Brida promotion with pride: Brida works because people talk across backgrounds, cultures, and values.
Fruitloop added a cultural note: in South Africa, jokes are made about everything—“even the politicians.” The Mayor replied: “Well that’s not difficult.”
The “Froot Loopy” questions (the ones that make philosophy taste like dessert)
Fruitloop shifted the tone into playful imagination—the signature move.
1) If you could see people’s values floating above their heads…
What would you look for in a friend?
Nathalie said it’s a package, not one value. But she named the cluster she’d search for:
- respect
- open-mindedness
- honesty
- empathy
Rosii had a small language moment—reaching for the word “judge,” accidentally circling “shoot,” and everyone helped translate gently. Empathy, she said, is hard these days because people judge quickly without knowing what someone has lived.
The Mayor agreed it’s a package. He shared one of his mother-in-law’s lines—a line that drives her family nuts because she says it so often, but it’s wise:
“I did my best. More I cannot do.”
He placed it above his own head “underneath my halo,” and added that being yourself matters. A real friend can criticize you and still like you.
Fruitloop briefly panicked: “Do you want me to go away?”
The Mayor: absolutely not.
He promised, dramatically and sweetly:
“I will follow you to the end… and drag you back kicking and screaming whether you like it or not.”
Fruitloop added her own essential value to the package:
Optimism.
Not fake cheerleading, but a “we can do this, we got this” kind of energy. She struggles with pessimists and constant negativity.
The Mayor reminded everyone of Fruitloop’s Pineapple article about superheroes—the ones who keep getting up and fighting. He called it very good, and she accepted the compliment like someone who secretly needed it.
2) If disagreements turned into weather, what kind of weather would you have?
Rosii answered with a story-shaped answer: if it’s sunny, you can walk away and cool off; if it’s cold and rainy, you’re stuck inside together, and that makes fighting worse. She pictured it with her sister—imagination first, theory second.
Nathalie went direct and poetic:
“A thunderstorm. Very short, very violent… then sunshine and a beautiful rainbow.”
The Mayor went bigger:
“Hurricane and cyclone all rolled into one.”
For him, anger is door-slamming anger—miraculously, the doors are still on their hinges.
Then came the supermarket trolley story: someone left a trolley blocking the aisle while people chatted. Instead of walking around and breathing… he rammed his trolley into it and pushed it away, fueled by rage at the absence of common sense and respect for shared space.
Fruitloop reacted like someone watching a familiar documentary: “Oh my god… Frank… breathe and walk around. Look away.”
He refused. Respect matters.
His closing diagnosis of himself was simple:
He gets angry when people act like they’re the only person on the planet.
And with that, yes—hurricane weather.
The wrap: Energy next month, Vietnam next, and a Pineapple idea brewing
The group agreed: values month is done. Next month is energy—“nice positive topic.”
Nathalie will be in Vietnam for the next two meetings and was sad to miss two Thursdays. The Mayor reassured her: “See you at the end of March.”
Then came a warm, practical creative plan: maybe Nathalie and Fruitloop can meet to talk about Vietnam, and they can turn it into an article for the Pineapple.
The Mayor realized he was recording and laughed at himself—“I’m the one in the driving seat”—then closed the meeting with thanks.
Fruitloop teased the Mayor gently:
“We learned there’s some anger issues… maybe we should turn that into a topic. How to deal with your anger.”
He insisted it was a joke topic.
Rosii insisted, kindly, “No, it’s better.”
And they signed off the way this table always does—like friends folding napkins, packing away laughter, and promising to meet again:
“Same time, same place.”
