Just be yourself

It’s been a while… Lack of motivation. Lack of ideas. Feeling lost and the feeling of “not having enough time”. Pressures of everyday life. Starting over in grade 1 – and failing at grade 1 math… I am glad I am not 7 years old anymore.

My son is going through some things. He loves going to school but he hates homework. He wants to be grown up, buy his own house and his own car. He wants to live alone in his big fancy house because then I can’t check his homework, I can’t tell him to pick up his toys and he can eat what he wants. Lucky for me – I will be too old to care by then.

I lie awake at night, laughing inwardly of how he makes everything seem so simple.  To avoid homework – get your own house. To avoid chores – buy your own house. I still haven’t figured out why he wants his own car or even where he will go.

It is a fight almost every single day to do homework. He doesn’t like to read, he doesn’t like to write and he doesn’t like spending this hour with no TV, no toys and no distractions to finish his homework. It drives both of us crazy because some days, it feels like the blind leading the blind. Or taking your pet sloth for a walk around the block.

I thought about something he said earlier this week. While driving to school, we passed a car with a mom and a couple of kids, 3 or 4 maybe. Not sure if they were commuting or one family but my son said: “That lady has a lot of kids. She bought too many babies.”

I couldn’t help myself and burst out laughing but also thinking – how does she do it. All of them in school, different ages, different stages and they all get homework. I am contemplating my life’s choices over grade 1 homework and she has 4 kids, with 4 different levels of homework. I feel empathy for her, I am sorry you have to go through it. And deep inside I have the feeling of gratefulness too – grateful that it’s not me.

Then I have a meeting – so we have to rush through homework. I left my son to his own devises to colour his pictures and I kid you not, I didn’t check it. It completely slipped my mind. Now while writing this, I am hoping he actually did it, I am hoping it looks neat, at least. Saying a silent prayer and hoping for the best.

The meeting was the complete opposite. A young man, smart, intellect, lively and so motivated, his motivation rubs off on you. His energy shines through the virtual meeting, infecting me with “You can do so much more!”

He is a young engineering student in his fouth year, taking a gap year to work as an intern with fairly large companies. Well-known names like Yamaha and Polaris were mentioned and for a brief moment, I felt small. Dakar racing, motocross racing, Rally Red and Rally of Morocco to F1 racing… This kid is going places and I am worried about my 7 year old colouring his pictures.

But this young student found his passion, gymnastics, cars, motorcycles and building things. Batteries, electronic and specialised cars. I was thanking my stars that I have some knowledge about racing and cars (not so much of gymnastics) and that I could lead this insightful meeting. Or else, I would have been completely lost.

But he has one small problem – his English. He passed difficult and complex exams with nearly full marks, he completed years of studying, but to do his master’s degree, he needs to up his game in English. And my thoughts came back to my ChatGPT prompt trend: Create a caricature of me and my job based on everything you know about me – the image read “Virtual English Class – Welcome”. It doesn’t matter your age, shape, size or form – you are welcome! Grammar, speaking, reading, listening, leadership, motivation, mindset or hobbies. You are welcome. Need a friend? I am all in.

So with some newly found motivation (I just need some help with feeling tired) I know that whatever I do today will be fruitful tomorrow. The effort and the little push over the mountain will get me to the valley of wonders. I just need to walk a few more meters and get over the top.

Just don’t ask me to do math in any level.