I Am Not a Morning Person

Alexander began tired, somewhere between a football weekend, a sleeping couch, a small son, a working Monday, and The Mayor’s French advice to take life more slowly. The conversation was about sleep. But really it became about rhythm, responsibility, recovery, and the strange problem of being a reliable person with a tired body.

A Little Bit Tired

We started with football, of course.

The Mayor asked who would win the Football World Cup. There was only one answer, he said.

I said Spain first. Then I changed my mind.

“No, I guess France is winning the World Cup.”

It was a good answer, The Mayor said. But I had to be honest. France is not my favourite team. Not my favourite club. Not my heart.

Then The Mayor changed the subject.

“So, Mr. Ulrich, we are talking about sleep. Are you tired today?”

Yes.

A little bit.

Because all of my weekend, I did sport activities. Boom. My body was tired. My brain was tired too. I felt a little bit tired.

It was not a stressful week ahead. It was a normal week. But sometimes a normal week is also enough. You sit there on Monday morning and you are not broken, but you are not fresh. Your body says, yes, we are here. But please, slowly.

The topic was “sleep that restores.”

That sounds very beautiful. Very healthy. Very calm.

My first example was the opposite.

The Couch Is Not a Bed

The night before, I fell asleep on the couch.

This is not the best sleep. I know this.

I woke up at 1:30 in the morning. Then I had to fill a bottle with water for my son, go upstairs, brush my teeth, and go to bed properly.

The problem is simple. When I wake up and I am awake longer than five minutes, then I have problems falling asleep again.

Yesterday, I had this situation.

For me, the best sleep is not complicated. I go to bed at 10 p.m. I wake up at 7 a.m. My son has no problems in the night. Then it is good.

But I cannot say too many bad things about nights, because Julia does most of the nights with our son. I can sleep many nights. Sometimes I wake up too, because it is loud when he is crying, but she does a lot.

The Mayor asked why Julia did not wake me on the couch and say, “Come upstairs, it is more comfortable in bed.”

In the first times, she tried it.

But yesterday I was so tired that going upstairs felt too strenuous. Julia went upstairs at 9:30 p.m. She said, “Come with me.”

I was down.

Not sad down.

Finished down.

The couch won.

I Hate Mornings

The Mayor asked me the difference between “I slept enough” and “I really recovered.”

This is a good question, because I am very often tired, but also not tired. It is more that I have problems standing up in the morning.

Even if I slept a normal long sleep, maybe seven hours, I still have difficulties getting up.

I am not a morning person.

No. Absolutely not.

I hate mornings.

My normal morning begins at nine o’clock. Everything earlier is a problem for me.

On a normal office day, I wake up at 7:30 and start working at 8. I guess it would be better if I woke up at 6:30. Then maybe I would be fit and motivated earlier.

But this is one thing I would wish for: to wake up and stand up earlier.

Because when I do wake up earlier, I am normally more positive.

The problem is only the standing up.

That small mountain between the bed and the day.

When Sleep Becomes Important

During a normal working week, when do I first feel that sleep is important?

I cannot give one answer.

When I have a stressful day with a lot of travel, maybe 500 kilometres, then I feel it in the evening. At the end of the day, I am tired. Then sleep becomes important before I go to bed.

But when I have a normal office day, the morning is more important.

That is when I feel if the sleep helped me or not.

My normal evening is also not so special. Normally, after work, I play with my son. We go into the garden. He rides his running bike. Or we go to a playground in the city.

Then we go to bed at about 8 p.m. Normally I need one hour until he falls asleep.

After that, I go downstairs.

And then I do what maybe 80 percent of people in the world are doing.

I watch TV.

In the last weeks, I was excited to watch the World Cup. And also a series. Normally, I do not like series, but my sister-in-law told us about The Rookie. It is about a police department and police officers in training.

It was very interesting for me. Julia and I watched only this series for maybe two months.

This is a normal evening.

Nothing spectacular.

Just life.

My Head Is Always Working

The Mayor and I both work from home, so he asked me if I do something in the evening that helps my head become quiet.

Or is my head still working?

I guess my head is always working.

When I go upstairs, I open YouTube on my mobile phone. I listen to a documentary. Something interesting. When I get tired, I put the phone behind my bed and I listen.

With these sounds, I fall asleep.

And I guess it is one of the most terrible things you can do when you fall asleep.

Because in my sleep, I still hear sound. My head has no time to come down. No time for no reaction. No quiet.

I know this.

But I still do it.

This is maybe very normal. Many people know something is not the best, but they do it because it works a little bit. Or because it is easy. Or because the head does not want silence immediately.

Open Work Makes Me Nervous

Preparation is very important for me.

If I know I have something to do, and this work is still open, I get nervous. It does not matter if I need it in one month, one week, or three days. When I know it is open, it is in my head.

Julia is the opposite.

She had important meetings in the last weeks. She had to prepare presentations. I said, “Julia, you have to prepare these things.”

She said, “Today I am not so good. I do it tomorrow.”

Then, on the last evening, she went one and a half hours into the office and prepared it.

For her, this is okay.

For me, this is not okay.

But I accept it. If it is okay for Julia, why should I stress myself? That is her system. Her way.

I am very relaxed about her way.

But for myself, no.

For myself, I need things prepared.

Maybe this is also connected to sleep. If something is open, my head keeps the file open too.

A Good Day Starts Later

The Mayor asked if I remembered a morning when I woke up and immediately knew, “Today will be a good day.”

Normally, I am a person where everything in the morning is bad, and my day gets better when good things happen.

For example, last week I won a big project with a customer. After that, my next morning was positive.

But it starts every day new. I need a new positive reaction, or feedback, or something finished, so that my day becomes good.

If I know something positive will happen, then I am more motivated. For example, if I know on Friday we go on holiday, then of course I am happy. This feeling before something good happens makes the day better.

But without that, the morning is just the morning.

And I hate mornings.

Weekday, Weekend, Son

Do I sleep differently during the week than during weekends or holidays?

Normally not.

Because I wake up at the same time. Workday or holiday, it does not matter so much.

My son is the reason.

I have no real option to sleep longer.

The Mayor said his cats decide his rhythm. My son decides mine.

This is the life stage. When you have a small child, the day does not ask if it is Saturday. The morning comes. The child comes. The rhythm comes.

It is not bad.

It is just true.

Sometimes I would like to wake up at five o’clock like older people say they do. They tell me, “I wake up every day at five and I cannot sleep longer.”

I wish I had this problem.

The Mayor is like that. He wakes early. He drinks coffee. He has the house to himself. He has ideas. He has paper everywhere, so when an idea comes, he writes it down.

For me, if I have a good idea on Saturday or Sunday, I also want to do it immediately.

But I cannot always do it.

I have to spend time with my family.

And that is also right.

Tired, But Still Correct

When I am tired, what changes first?

My patience, my humour, my concentration, or my discipline?

I think it is a little bit of everything.

Discipline is not the biggest problem. I can motivate myself quite well. I am good at that.

Concentration is not the best when I am tired.

Humour is on a normal level.

Patience is difficult.

I have a low level of patience when I am tired. I guess Julia has the most problems with this characteristic.

The Mayor suggested I take the rest of the day off. It was a nice summer day. Go outside. Have fun. Take the day off.

But I have to work.

I do not have a job where I can say, “Today is a good day, I do not work.”

I have to spend eight hours working, and I do this.

Maybe other people go downstairs, drink coffee in the garden, look five minutes at the laptop, and count it.

But I sit from eight o’clock until four o’clock. I work, or I try to work. Of course, nobody can be fully concentrated all the time. But I try to give my best all day.

If My Body Was a Customer

At the end, The Mayor asked a strange Brida question.

“If your body was a customer, what would it complain about after a bad night of sleep?”

I had to understand the word “complain” first.

Then I knew.

My body would complain about concentration.

Very low concentration.

Maybe it would not shout. Maybe it would not cancel the contract. But it would send a clear message:

Dear Alexander,
service today is not perfect.

The Mayor gave me French advice.

Go outside. Sit in the garden. Have a cup of coffee. Take half an hour off. Then at 11 o’clock, start thinking about work.

He said maybe, in the French way, not coffee.

Maybe a glass of wine.

I said I would talk with someone about this and see what he says.

Because even when I am tired, I am still me.

I still ask.

I still check.

I still try to do it properly.

And maybe that is also what sleep is for.

Not to become another person.

Just to restore the one who has to stand up again tomorrow.