Don’t take things personally

Newsflash: most people are busy thinking about what to eat next, not plotting your downfall. Well isn’t that good to know. I have been in so many situations where I think to myself “Have I said the right things?” “Am I dressed appropriately?” The situation wasn’t uncomfortable but, I was. For some odd reason, I cared too much about what people were thinking, what people where looking for and what if there were awkward silences?

To be honest, I haven’t said the right thing, I haven’t worn the right clothes and there was a lot of awkward moments. But they happened in the past and sometimes these dreadful experiences still come back to haunt me. Almost like a ghost jumping out of the closet and shouting “DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU WORE THE WORST POSSIBLE DRESS TO THAT WEDDING?” Uhm yeah, Mister Ghost, I was there, I wore the stupid dress.

Or a gigantic phoenix rising out from the ashes to remind you about that one time you wore jeans to a job interview… And then couldn’t even “Tell them about yourself”. Well in my defence, I was an eighteen-year-old student, studying in college and they invited me to the interview on short notice. I had no time to prepare, no time to head home and change (25 min trip home, 5 min to change and another 25 min trip back into town from the farm) and it was my first real interview!

See, these ghosts still haunt me but there are some good in this, I learned in the process. How to handle the curveballs life throws at us. How to be prepared and how to somehow forget and move on, not making the same mistake twice or three times over.

I have also realised that people are more worried about themselves to actually care about what you look like or what you are wearing or even how nervous you are. But I notice things too, I pay attention to my surroundings and this week I have noticed that a lot of people were looking at me, paying attention to me, smiling at me and my thoughts immediately drifted to: “Do I have something in my teeth? What is wrong with my clothes? Is there something on my face?” Needless to say, it was a weird experience and I couldn’t find anything wrong with myself.

Life is weird sometimes, life makes us feel uncomfortable sometimes and then we talk to people and have conversations but they seem to be distracted, or living in their own bubble. Others have pudding brain or are just grumpy and miserable.  If someone’s grumpy, it’s probably not about you, maybe their socks are wet or their Wi-Fi is slow. Maybe they are contemplating their life’s choices or something as simple as feeling a little under the weather.

And that is why we shouldn’t take things personally, everyone is fighting their own battle and waging wars with themselves about the things they said five minutes ago or maybe even the things they should have said or wanted to say. As the cliché says: “It’s not you, it’s me.” In this case it happens to be the opposite – it is not you, it is them.

However, continue to ride your mystical unicorn and throw your glitter, rainbows and smiles everywhere you go. People will have bad days and there is not much we can do about it apart from smiling and waving it away. Don’t worry too much about what people think of you, it won’t matter later in life anyway.

I wish I could have taught this to my younger-self.